Full Synopsis

First Scene

Life sucks for Aranthar.  He’s lost faith in the Knighthood, doesn’t care if he lives or dies and spends all of his time drinking, dicing or chasing women.  In Act I he wakes up in his inn room and realizes he’s nearly out of coin.  He stumbles downstairs to have a few drinks and some gruel, and ends up flirting with a dancer and dicing with some of the regulars.

The gamblers discuss the missing knights, and Aran feels a twinge of curiousity.  He may not hold any loyalty to the order, but he doesn’t want to see good men die.  Between the drinking, fondling the dancer and dicing Aran ponders who might be responsible for the deaths.  He is also worried about his own finances, as he is nearly out of coin and has already sold everything but the old sword he uses.

He’ll discuss potential work with the men in his dice game.  One of them mentions a woman hiring muscle in the Pearl.  She is looking for men to fight in an underground fighting pit she’s set up.  It’s brutal fights to the death, but it pays good coin if Aranthar is desperate.

The first scene ends when the door opens and a Knight of the Dawn steps through the door in a swirl of snow.   Some patrons prepare to flee, others grip their weapons.  It’s clear that the Knight’s entrance is about to disrupt Aran’s peaceful if somewhat empty life.

Second Scene

*** Have Aran sneak out his window, get Cassie, but get caught before he can get away ***

The description of Briana from Aran’s perspective should be the intro to chapter two.  Don’t just use physical description, but have him note certain things about her bearing and obvious skill.  This description should give us clues to how perceptive Aranthar is, even though he’s had a few drinks.

Aran is curious as to what would bring a knight into a seedy Lowtown inn, but doesn’t immediately suspect she has anything to do with him.  When she drops her hood he’s both entranced by her beauty, and curious about her.  He knows female knights are rare, which should be evident in his internal monologue.

The men at his table will give appreciative glances and a few off color comments about how hot Briana is.  Maybe something about wanting to smelt that copper in his forge?  Follow it with an explanation about her hair.

Briana scans the room with a serious but neutral expression.  The weight of her gaze kills off most of the conversation.  People in Lowtown fear and distrust the Dawn, because the knights are judge, jury and executioner.  They can pronounce judgement on the spot, and nearly everyone in Lowtown has been or knows someone victimized by the knights.

Briana’s gaze touches Aran’s and locks into place.  Aran instantly realized she’s come for him, and doesn’t waste time wondering why.  He leaps to his feet and sprints for the stairs without a word.  His internal monologue should speak of wanting to avoid being entangled with the knights yet again, but keep it vague enough for the reader to wonder why he’s running. It raises tension.

Briana gives chase running up the stairs after him.  She gets to his door just after he closes it and slams home the bolt.  She pounds furiously demanding entrance.

Aran responds by asking if he’s broken any laws.  After a long silence Briana admits that he hasn’t.  Then she asks if he’ll open the door so they can talk.  Aran refuses telling her, “Kitten unless you’re interested in warming my bed we have nothing to discuss.”

Briana is silent again and when she speaks her voice is much colder, though she does ask nicely for entrance.  She tells him that she has a job offer, one that will pay well.  Aran gives this some consideration.  He takes out his coin purse which is even lighter after the trip downstairs.  He needs the money, but he’s reluctant to work for the knights.  Nothing good has ever come from it.

He slides the bolt and pulls the door open.  The only place to sit is the bed, which Aran thumps down onto.  This forces Briana to stand.  She folds her arms and eyes the room disapprovingly.  She uses a gloved hand to trace a line through the grime across the top of the nightstand, obviously disapproving.

Her job offer is simple.  Knights are missing and the Grand Marshal wants Aranthar’s help in finding them.  Briana is supposed to escort him to Gavin.  Aran asks what happens if he refuses and Briana is shocked.  She asks Aran if he’s really the hero of Bakkar and if he really killed Rakarian.

Aran tells her that was a long time ago.  The purpose of the exchange is to establish the following.  Aran is a hero.  Something happened to make him jaded and bitter.  He is no longer the man he was.  Briana is a dutiful knight and believes the party line.

He agrees to go with her and asks when.  She says right now and leads him to the stable where her grey is saddled next to Cassie.  This is Cassie’s intro so make sure she’s amusing and has the same sense of personality given in previous drafts.

The pair thread their way out of Lowtown.  Use imagery to show how downtrodden the people are.  They’re malnourished, tired and beaten.  They shoot distrustful glances at Briana, and hungry glances at the horses.  The keep dominates the hill on the distance.  Try to juxtapose it with Lowtown to really underscore the difference between classes, and have Aranthar mentally comment about it.  It’s part of why he left the knights.

Lowtown gives way to Oldtown, where people are hawking various goods and services.  The crowds are thinner, people are better dressed and all eye Aranthar suspiciously.  They allow him to pass because he’s with Briana, but have him mental comment that the guards here would never have let him through on his own.  They quarantine the poor like a disease contained in Lowtown.

As they pass through the gate leading from Oldtown into the keep have them pass a statue of Aranthar in his prime.  Briana will eye the statue and then look askance at Aran as if comparing the two.  Aran will think bitterly of the time the statue was made, and that even then it was a lie.  But then he’ll fondly remember the number of women that tumbled into his bed as a result.

It’s important for Aran’s bitterness to be balanced by lust and a weakness for drink.  I need him funny and upbeat with a dash of cynical or he’ll come across as too difficult to read.

Once they pass through the keep wall a couple of stable boys come up to take their mounts.  Aran will have to console Cassie, who doesn’t want to be led away.  Briana will make a comment about even his horse not having any manners.

The pair are led into the keep itself and thread through stone hallways until they are led into a large sitting chamber with a pair of chairs next to a fireplace, and a large rug on the floor.  Gavin is seated by the fire, and two knights are flanking him.  They are wearing full battle regalia and both are armed with broadswords. 

The scene ends with Gavin gesturing absently and saying, “Kill him.”

Scene 3

Briana and Aran will begin the chapter by chorusing ‘What?’.  Gavin will order Briana to stand down, which she will reluctantly do.  Being a knight means following orders, which Aran will note in his internal monologue.  He sees the indecision on her face though.

The two knights glide into a flanking position.  Aranthar backpedals rapidly as he drops his cloak and draws his blade.  He comments that if Gavin wanted to kill him he could at least have saved him the trip and just done it back in Lowtown.  Then the fight commences.

Aran’s monologue should be brief, but very concerned.  His two opponents are extraordinarily skilled, and he’s somewhat rusty.  He let’s them press him until he reaches a corner, which prevents them from flanking him.  He’ll be on the defensive, but also studying his opponents looking for weakness.

Have him analyze their style as he defends, and eventually spot a weakness he can exploit.  He will disable the first man, then advance on the second.  Once its one on one he rapes the single opponent.  Neither man is killed, though both take a serious wound.

After the fight Aran is livid.  He was summoned for this?  Gavin will tell him that he had to be sure Aran hadn’t lost his skill over the years, but his tone is mollifying.  He’ll apologize for the harshness of the test, but then move smoothly into the job offer.

Gavin wants to recruit Aran back into the knights.  He offers him a position as a Twilight, an elite order of knights who are like ghosts.  No one knows who they are, only that they are tasked with rooting out corruption and working undercover.  They have total autonomy, and their word is law in Olivantia.

Aran responds with laughter.  The knights can’t keep order and have completely failed in every promise that was made before the purge.  He has no interest in joining again.

Gavin appeals to his better nature.  The country is a mess, but the knights are trying to improve things.  They need more good men.  He gives a rousing speech to join, but Aran scoffs.  He’s bought Gavin’s promises once, and he won’t fall for it again.  Use this passage to hint at what happened during the purge, but give no specific details.

Gavin asks if Aran is willing to perform a single task if he won’t become a twilight.  Aran is on the verge of refusing when Gavin tosses a heavy purse to the floor at his feet.  Gold spills out.  This should leave Aran speechless as he hasn’t so much as seen a gold coin in years.  They are worth far more than silver so make sure to show this reaction.

Even with that much gold before him Aran asks for details about the job before agreeing.  He’s been used by Gavin before, and he knows he might not like the strings attached to the job.  Briana bristles at this implication, but Gavin cuts her off.  Aran asks why she’s even still in the room, and Gavin tells him that she will be his assigned to him as part of the job.  That part is non-negotiable.

Briana immediately protests this, saying that she can’t be expected to accomplish anything reporting to this drunken wastrel.  Gavin quiets her with a look, but she still glowers at Aran.

Gavin explains that knights have been disappearing in Lowtown.  Aran points out that people disappearing there isn’t unusual, even knights.  Gavin responds that nine knights have disappeared in the last five weeks, which is far too high even for Lowtown.  He believes someone is making a concerted effort against them, and wants Aran to find out who is orchestrating the attacks.

Aran asks for more detail, but Gavin has very little to offer.  There is no pattern to the disappearances, other than that they always happen at night which is hardly unusual for Lowtown.  They are men, women, old young.  No pattern other than they are all knights.  The first disappearance happened five weeks ago, and the rate seems to be increasing.  Three of the knights disappeared in the last week.  They were on routine patrol, so he doesn’t even know where they were when they were taken.

Aran asks for access to the duty roster, which will tell everything about who patrolled Lowtown.  Gavin immediately agrees.

Next he asks if there are any brothels or inns that knights are known to frequent.  Briana is horrified by the idea, and says that no self respecting knight would be caught in such a place.  Gavin gives Aran a knowing look, but says he doesn’t know of any such establishment.  Part of why he’s hiring Aran is that he has almost nothing to go on.

Aran accepts the job, though his internal monologue should say he’s probably going to regret it.  He looks at Briana’s chest, then up to her scowl and realizes he’s defintiely going to regret it.

Gavin asks Briana to make the arrangements for their journey to Lowtown the following day, and to fetch the duty roster for Aran.  Aran’s monologue should show he’s aware she’s being dismissed, though politely.  Gavin waits until she leaves before speaking again.  He rises and picks up a sheathed blade from the mantle.  He draws the blade and holds it before the firelight.

Aran is overcome by memory.  He knows this sword.  He fought a war with this sword.  It’s heavy with the weight of past deeds.  Gavin gives Aran the blade, and tells him he bought it from a merchant who had no idea what he was holding.  He obviously disapproves, the implication being that Aran sold the sword for liquor at some point which is quite true.

Aran takes the blade and gives it a few experimental swings.  It feels perfect in his grip, right like an extension of his arm.  This is the first symbolic acceptance of Aran’s redemption and place within the knights.

Why did you really choose me?  You have dozens of Twilights who could investigate this for you.  Aran asks Gavin.  Gavin doesn’t seemed surprised.

Im not surprised you put it together, gavin answers.  I have men that are as astute as you.  I have others that are nearly as deadly with a blade. 

So why me? Aran repeats

Because in this instance its not those skills I need, or rather not just those skills.  I chose you because of Briana.

Your daughter? Aran answers, though its not really a question.  He vaguely remembers a copper haired girl trailing after Gavin in his academy days, and Gavin’s wife looks very similar.

She’s gifted Aran.  Near as much as you were, and she suffers from some of the same problems.  Authority chafes her.  But there are other problems too.  Men either condescend her or fall in love with her.  Many do both.  As a result she’s risen high in the order, and no one is willing to point out any of her flaws.  She thinks she is perfect, and her arrogance is going to get her killed. Gavin says.

Much like mine nearly did? Aran muses back.  You took away my command to teach me humility, why not do the same with her?

Because she’d think it was done for the wrong reasons.  She’d believe I was doing it to avoid showing favoritism because of our relationship.  She’s never met anyone better than her.  Not in tactics and certainly not with a blade.  You’re the only man I know who is better at both.  You can teach her that she isn’t the best.  That she still has much to learn.

You want me to mentor your daughter? Aran blinks. Do you not remember my reputation?  Smart men don’t want me anywhere near their daughters.  I seduce women.  I don’t befriend them and I certainly don’t teach them.  I’m a scoundrel and you know it. 

Precisely why you are perfect.  Briana will hate that you are better with a blade, but not nearly as much as she hates you personally.  Your disrespect of the knighthood will anger her, but eventually it will teach her a lesson she must learn.  Your methods are different than hers, but they are effective.  She will have to accept that her way of doing things isn’t always the best, and that is what I need her to learn.

It seems an awfully big risk.  Aren’t you worried I’ll defile your daughter? Aran laughed. 

Not at all.  If there’s one thing Briana guards jealousy it’s her virtue.  The fact that you’ll pursue her is one more reason I selected you.  You will be transparent in your attempts, where another man might try to curry favor or tell her what she wants to hear.  It’s vital she be around a knight who will not be swayed by her beauty, and you’re crass enough not to care.

The end of the discussion will mark the end of the chapter, but I need some sort of witty dialogue as a punctuation point.

Scene 4

Here is where things get a bit stickier.  Do I stick with Aran as a the sole PoV, or interject Briana?  If I use only Aran it will be a linear novel that’s easy to understand.  However, it limits me in certain ways.  For one thing future Faelands novels will have to be in the same format which really limits the stories I can tell.  Other PoVs seem like a must, although Aran should still dominate the book.

In this chapter Aran has accepted a job, but he isn’t ready to become a knight again. He has yet to pass through the first doorway.  He’s still his bitter, cynical self and if anything is even more so towards Briana after his conversation with Gavin.

The pair meet for breakfast in the castle mess, which is peopled by dozens of knights and even more squires.  Food is served by cadets.  I’ll need a good idea of everyone’s regalia so as to better describe it.  In many ways this is my white tower, so make sure I do it justice.

Anyway they are having breakfast which consists of gruel with a bit honey.  Aran’s monologue will talk about the food. The rumors say that the knights are eating like kings, and they have bacon every day.  The truth is that the knights are eating like the common people.  Aran considers the rumors and decides that the knights are hiding to truth to avoid panicking the people.  If the people know how badly even the knights are eating they’ll understand how close the city is to being out of food.

He realizes the tactic is a mistake, because instead of calming the people its inflamed them.  Now they see the knights as being above them, whereas if they told the truth the common people who know the knights were on the same level.

Briana avoids conversation, though she does shoot critical glances his way.  Aran has taken the time to change into a chain shirt, but left the tabard he’d been given back in the room.  He refuses to be identified as a knight, and knows that it bothers her.  She’s still proud of the heritage and belives the lies, which he’s long since seen through.  He remembers being like her.

Someone shoves Aran roughly from behind and he spills his gruel.  He turns around still dripping to see a man towering over him with a wicked grin on his face.  The man is in the regalia of a knight, and obviously stumbled into Aran on purpose.

The man is provoking a fight, and in his internal monologue Aran is already plotting how to take him down.  Still, he knows a physical confrontation will end badly because other knights will likely intervene if he bests the giant in combat.  The best way to take him down is with embarassment, so that’s exactly what Aran does.

“So you’re the great Aranthar,” the man sneers. “Don’t look so tough to me.”

Aran raises an eyebrow and rests a hand on his hilt. “Why don’t you run along and leave me to my breakfast.”

“What are you going to do about it?  Think you have a chance against a real knight?” the man boats.  His friends laugh behind him.

“I might, but first you’d have to show me a real knight,” Aran snorts and turns back to the remains of his breakfast.

The man gets ready to attack, but Briana rises smoothly and pins him with a gaze like frost.  She warns him to back away and that if she sees him again they’ll meet in the circle, which is short for the dueling circle.  He blanches and wanders off muttering.  This raises Aran’s respect for Briana several notches, because the man obviously feared her combat prowess.

“They hate you because you abandoned us,” Briana tells him matter of factly, her gaze a challenge.  It’s as if she’s daring him to defend himself, but he ignores the question.  Aran knows why he left the order, and doesn’t need her approval.

“They’re welcome to their opinions.  I’ve been paid for a job and I’m going to do it,” Aran answerd.  “Now let’s focus on that job.”

Briana asks him where he intends to start.  Aran wants to begin by interviewing the knights who currently patrol Lowtown.  He wants to find the knights that have been stationed there the longest, which is easy using the duty roster.  They do a bit of searching and find the name of the knight whose been in Lowtown the longest.

The pair head to the barracks, which is largely deserted accept for four or five bunks which hold sleeping knights.  Aran tells Briana she might want to wait outside, but she insists on following him inside.  They find the bunk that the knight in question is sleeping in (need name for this guy). 

Aran grabs the washbasin and dumps it in the man’s face, who wakes up sputtering.  As he sits up Aran clocks him in the head with the basin, then drops it and pins the man to the bed.  Fast as a viper he draws his dagger and has it to the man’s throat, who’s eyes are now wide with terror.

“Good morning.  We’re going to have a little chat.  Is that alright with you?” Aran’s eyes glitter dangerously, and his internal monologue will stress that he’s trying to be as intimidating as possible.  No one works Lowtown without having a few vices, and surprising the man will keep him from concocting a story.  It’s more likely to produce the truth.

“S-sure,” the man stammers back.  Briana shoots Aran a horrified glance and opens her mouth, but he silences her with a look.  Then he shifts his attention back to the knight.

“Let’s talk about the brothel in Lowtown,” Aran knows he gambling, because the man might not frequent a brothel.  But almost every man does, and this guy is old enough that Aran figures he’s jaded enough to have lost the beliefs of the order. 

“T-The Oyster’s Pearl?” the man stammers.  Bingo, Aran was right and the guy does go to a brothel.  He asks him for details about it.  Do other knights go there, how often?  He’ll ask about some of the specific men on the list he’s obtained (make sure he gets a list from Briana over breakfast).

It turns out that most of the men frequented the Pearl.  The proprietess is very accomodating to knights.  She asks that they don’t wear their tabarbs when in the brothel, but gives them special deals and takes very good care of them. 

Aran let’s the man go and stalks from the barracks with Briana at his heels.  How did you know he went to a brothel?  He’ll explain his earlier thoughts about most men needing a good lay, and the older knights being jaded enough to disregard laws of the order.

“Now we need to see about getting ourselves some whores.”

Scene 5

“I’m not going in there,” Briana says sourly as the two wind their way into Lowtown.  She is still wearing her tabard, and the chapter is the first from her point of view.  The pair are walking their mounts down a crowded street and it’s approaching sunset.

Give Aran’s description from Briana’s PoV.  Use a lot of detail.  Not just physical appearance, but clothing and the thoughts regarding them.  We can get a great deal of information about Briana from who she views Aran, not just details about Aran.  How does she feel about him?

Anyway as the pair are winding towards the pearl a young barefoot woman of perhaps fourteen comes up and tugs on Briana’s sleeve.  She has dirty blond hair, a soot stained face and doesn’t appear very well fed.  She asks Briana for a moment of her time, and of course Briana stops and asks her how she can help.

“It’s about my sister maam,” the girl sobs. “She was snatched off the street.  Men took her.  I don’t know where.  They said she was gonna be a whore.”

Briana feels a tremendous swell of pity and asks the girl when the last time she had something to eat was.  The girl says the day before yesterday she was given a crust of bread by a friendly shopkeep, but he wanted to put his hands on her in exchange.  She ran after she had the bread.  The girl needs a name.

Briana insists on taking her to an inn.  Aran looks askance, saying that have business they need to attend to.  But she refuses to budge so the pair head to the inn.  They sit down with the girl and get her fed while they listen to her story.  She gives a description of her sister, and Aran sketches in charcoal until they have a good likeness.

Briana gets the girl a bath and a room, and has the innkeeper take care of her.  She returns to Aran and tells him they have to find this sister.  Aran refuses, telling her that if they stop to deal with every person’s problem they’ll never solve the mystery of the missing knights.  It’s not that he doesn’t feel for her, but locating one whore in Lowtown is like…some analogy. 

It could take days or weeks to locate her, during which time more knights will disappear.  If they find the person removing knights, then there will be more knights to help dozens of people a day.  It’s a matter of triage.

Briana is shocked by his lack of compassion.  She tells him that no true knight would turn his back on a girl in distress.  Aran responds that it’s a good thing he’s not a true knight.  The world is cruel and harsh, and ideals are cold comfort when people are dying around you.  We can probably save her sister, but it will mean more of your brothers will die.  Are you prepared to live with that?

Briana considers his words.  She realizes the anger she is directing at him is misplaced, because he’s speaking from wisdom if not from compassion.  Still there is something about the girl, and she cannot turn her back on her.  She tells Aran that she was to help.  Aran nods his acceptance and tells her he will investigate the Pearl while she helps deal locate the sister.  They can meet back in that inn in three bells time.

(For future scene.  Aran will see men in arena using signature Knight moves)

Briana agrees, and is a little surprised by Aran’s compromise.  She’d expected him to make a stronger attempt at stopping her.  She’s also surprised he doesn’t feel she needs supervision as she believed her father was assigning him as a sort of chaperone.  Briana retrieves the girl and asks her to show the location where her sister was taken.  The pair head to a crossroads with a bakery out front.

Briana asks the girl for an accounting, and while they are talking a stout matronly woman comes out to speak to them.  Terrible shame what happened to that pretty young thing, she says.  Briana begins to question her and it turns out the woman saw the whole thing.

In reality the woman is a plant left there by Arie to make sure knights are guided in the right direction.  She’s set up the disappearance as a way to lure in any knights who don’t frequent her establishment.  Those that do are generally easy to corrupt, and she’s more interested in removing the honest ones.  This method is perfect for that.

The shopkeeper tells Briana that she recognized one of the men.  He’s with an outfit that runs out of the Pearl.  New girls are generally kept in the basement, where they’re broken until they’re ready to service men.

Briana wonders why this shopkeeper knows so much about the inner workings of the Pearl, and there’s something about her that prevents her from trusting the woman.  This will serve as a queue for the reader to foreshadow the later kidnapping.  Briana takes the girl back to the Pearl and tells her to wait there in her room.  Once the girl is safely in bed Briana she looks for Aran, but he’s already left the inn for the pearl. 

This should highlight her arrogance.  She should wait for Aran to return and then discuss the issue as a team.  Instead she gets impatient and decides to investigate on her own both to show up Aranthar, and because she believes she can handle it.

She sneaks over to the inn and is prowling around the lower level trying to see into windows when she’s jumped by several thugs.  This will be her first moment to shine, so highlight her inner monologue.  It’s similar to Aran’s in the way she examines her opponents, but she’s worried about taking four thugs.

She whups their asses in a close fight, but as she rams her blade through the last man’s heart she sees his eyes flare red.  His smile is vampiric, and he backhands her and sends her sprawling.  The other men rise to their feet as well, quickly subduing her.  Cut the scene with her spiraling into unconsciousness.

Scene 6- The First Doorway

Aran is going to see the first hints of the vampyr in this chapter.  They will make him realize how outclassed the knights are, and force him to make a choice.  Does he step in and save the day, or retreat back into the shadows.  Of course he steps in forcing him through the first doorway.

He heads to the Pearl dressed in comfortable leathers one would wear when going whoring, but does carry his sword with him.  He figures it won’t occasion comment, because only a fool goes unarmed at knight in Lowtown.  On the way he considers the situation with Briana and the girl.  Aran is surprised by a little bit of guilt, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

He’s bothered that he cares what Briana thinks, and more so that he didn’t help the girl.  It awakens a lot of confusion in him, but he represses that and focuses on the task at hand as he approaches the Pearl.

The buildings in Lowtown are white washed, or were at one time.  Now they are faded, dirty and in ill repair.  The Pearl has a sign outside with a faded oyster with a woman standing in it.  A steady stream of seedy looking men are coming and going, most of whom are drunk.

Aran pushes his way inside to find an opulent room, at least for Lowtown.  Red lamps covered in red cloth dot the room, giving it a dim reddish glow.  Plush chairs and round tables dot the room, each with a fair amount of room between them.  Girls in lingerie drift through the crowd bringing drinks, and a stunning blond comes to lead Aran to a chair.

She has a sultry voice, and touches his arm in an engaging manner.  Her laugh comes easily and is low and throaty.  She’s very careful to keep eye contact with him.  It’s all part of a very clever act designed to get him to lower his guard and open his purse, and he’s very aware of it.  Yet there’s something more there.  An alure beyond the natural, and one that tickles at the back of his mind.

She introduces herself as Merelle and asks him if there’s  anything special he’d like to see.  He says he’s already looking at it.   Aran asks her if she’s on the menu, and she responds yes with a wolfish grin.  He asks her to bring them a pair of drinks to give him time to size up the room, and identifies two off duty knights in the crowd.  Both are very drunk, and both are in their late 30s.  Veterans.

As Merelle comes back Aran watches how she interacts with the other girls.  They clearly see her as an authority figure, which makes sense now that he studies her.  She’s in her late 20s, which is older than most of the other girls.  Some are as young as sixteen. 

She comes back with glasses of dark red wine.  Nothing fancy, but good wine nonetheless.  Merelle loops her arm through his and leads him to a a curtained alcove off the main room.  The chair within is wide enough for two people, and is obviously meant for sex.  She gently pushes Aran into the chair, then moves behind him to massage his shoulders while he drinks.

“So what brings you to the pearl?  I haven’t seen you here before,” she purrs.  Her fingers feel amazing and her scent is distracting, even though he knows the game she is playing.  She’s very talented and he appreciates that talent.  He knows she’s been trained to read people, and that blatant lies will make her suspicious.

Not just for your company, he tells her.  Though I certainly plan to enjoy that.  She presses her chest agains his back, and he’s distracted by her for a moment. “So what are you looking for then?”

Aran tells her a version of the truth.  He reflects that the best lie is half truth.  He tells her he’s heard that there’s coin to be had at the fights, and he wants a slice of that coin.  He admits that he’s a very skilled fighter, and if there’s battling going on he wants in.

She wants to know how he heard about the fights, and he tells her about the dice game in chapter one.  She asks how good he is with the sword, and he tells her he can best any man she can field.  Merelle gives him a shrewd look and asks him to come with her.

She leads him back through the entry room to a shadowed stairwell in the back of the room.  Two beefy guards flank the door and eye him up and down as they pass through.  As soon as the door opens he can hear shouts from the excited shouts of a crowd below.

Torches line the hallway, which reeks of smoke and stale beer.  They descend the narrow stairwell and emerge above a ring of simple stone seats.  Several dozen people pack the seats, which overlook a pit about ten feet below the lowest ring of seats.  The pit is line with sad and a portcullis stands at either end.  Currently there are two combatants in the arena, but wearing gladiator style armor.  One wields two swords, the other a single longsword and buckler.

“Follow me,” Merelle leads him to the railing overlooking the fight.  She explains that the man with two swords has won seven fights in a row <need name>.  His opponent is also a fan favorite.  The pair battle across the arena, and Aran goes into combat time. 

His monologue will show him studying both combatants, making astute observations about both styles.  He realizes quickly the man with two swords outclasses his opponent, but he sees something very curious that piques his interest.  The man with the buckler is classically trained.  He fights like a knight. 

This is Aran’s first clue.  Knights are disappearing, and someone fighting like a knight has appeared in the games below.  Are they being kidnapped and forced to fight for the arena?  It seems like an awfully big risk just to gain a few fighters, nor does it explain why they’d willingly fight in the pit.

The fight draws to a close and the man with two swords runs his opponent through the chest.  Attendents rush in to drag him away and the victor spins in place with both swords in the air.  The place goes wild. 

“So how do I get involved?” Aran asks.  Merelle gives him a slow languid smile.  She tells him that if he returns the following evening they can get him involved in his first bout.  There is a stairwell in the back of the building.  Come there and bring the weapon he’d like to use.

Aran readily agrees and the two move to more amicable conversation.  The flirting becomes more intense until Merelle takes Aran back to the alcove and things fade to black.

It’s important that he learn about the vampyr in this chapter, so Aran needs to be aware that one of the combatants is blooded.  It should be obvious that the figure is faster and stronger than a normal man to one of Aran’s training.

Scene #7

The next scene begins with Aran coming downstairs into the common room of the inn where he and Briana are staying.  There’s no sign of her so he questions the innkeeper <need name>.  Innkeeper says that Briana went out the previous evening with the little waif, and that neither the girl nor Briana have returned. 

She did leave him a note explaining that she was going to help the girl look for her sister.

Aran asks for access to her room.  Let’s say he did take the Twilight pendant.  May need to have Briana give it to him.  Perhaps he refused it from Gavin, Briana picked it up, then offered it to him later?  He’s reluctant to use the authority of the knights, but the innkeeper won’t let him into the room without it.

This is further confirmation that he’s stepped through the first doorway.  He’s taking up responsibility, and becoming a knight again whether he likes it or not.  The vampyr are back and he must stop them no matter what it takes.  He will feel dirty for using the twilight pendant, but the need outweights his reluctance.

He’s led to Briana’s room ,and a quick search confirms his fears.  She left her belongings there, so it seems obvious she intended to return.  There’s no way she’d be out all night unless something had happened to her.

Aran does a quick mental inventory of time.  He needs to be at the Pearl just after sunset to enter the games.  Now more than ever he believes the key lies somewhere in the Pearl, so there’s no blowing that off.  However, he still needs to find Briana and doesn’t have much time to do it.

Aran’s worry is that Briana was duped by the girl, though its possible she could simply have run afoul of some footpads.  The latter possibility seems unlikely, as Briana can obviously take care of herself and wouldn’t be put off by footpads.

If he’s right then the girl is intentionally duping knights.  If he’s wrong at the very least she’ll know what happened to Briana.  Either way she is the only lead he has.  Aran leaves the inn and heads back to the temple.  He speaks to the duty officer, and uses the pendant to gain access to the duty roster.

Aran sees that three knights have regularly patrolled Lowtown over the last few months.  None have been attacked or disappeared.  He gathers a list of knights that have disappeared, and does some research into past duty logs.  What he finds is disturbing.  All the knights who disappeared did so within two days of being assigned to Lowtown.

Aran smells a rat.  The knights who’ve been there the longest don’t seem to be in any danger, while newcomers are disappearing.  That suggests the senior knights patrolling Lowtown are in on whatever’s going on.  Every time a new knight is assigned to Lowtown they are informing whoever is kidnapping knights.

This makes the girl approaching Briana even more suspiscisous.  The odds of them being approached for help that soon after arriving in Lowtown doesn’t wash.  Someone was tipped off that they were coming, and had the girl in place ready to lure Briana off on her own.  And Aran fell for it.  He kicks himself for letting Briana fall into the trap.

For the first time he questions his slacker ways.  Too much drink, too much focus on whores or dice.  He should have paid more attention, which he could have done if he wasn’t such a wastrel.  This is a part of how / why Aran decides to turn things around.  Part of his change.

He ends the chapter wondering where Briana is and how he’s going to find her.  She must be out there somewhere, if he can just locate her.

Scene #8

Briana awakens with cottonmouth and a bad headache.  She’s lying on a floor covered by sawdust, and gradually realizes she’s surrounded by bars.  It’s a cage and she’s alone it in.  Surrounding her are other cages, each of which contains other figures. 

As she stirs one of the figures adjacent to her goes into a frenzy and attacks the bars between their cages.  The figure is male, an shoves its arm into her cage in an attempt to grab her leg.  She backpedals to avoid the figure as shock washes through her.  This is a consumed, the first we’ve seen in the book so make sure you do it justice.

The consumed was once a knight, and still wears the regalia though it is soiled and blood stained.  Worse, Briana recognizes the knight.  It’s a man she trained with who was recently sent to Lowtown.  His name should already have been disclosed <need name>.  Probably on the list Aran has found of knights who’ve recently disappeared.

So the reader now knows a few things.  Consumed are mindless vampires.  One of the missing knights has somehow been transformed into a consumed, so its possible for people to be converted.  They don’t know how consumed are made, or what exactly happened to the knight.  But they should be wondering.

Briana will be afraid of the consumed.  She’s never seen one and it terrifies her.  Her back thumps against the bars behind her as the consumed continues to slam at the cage.  Then a voice sounds from right behind her, it comes from another adjacent cage.

“We’re going to be next,” it’s a low female voice, and Briana spins in place ready to defend herself.  The voice belongs to another knight she knows, this one is a woman who was in her army as a cadet.  The two know each other well <need name>.  Her friend looks haggard and dirty.  Her attitude is all defeat.

Briana asks how her friend got here.  The girl tells the same story Briana just experienced.  A waif approached her and asked her to help find her sister.  Friend did so and was led here, where she was jumped and then imprisoned.

She’s seen two other men become consumed, and another was taken away and never came back.  She doesn’t know why they are being held here, or what the goal of their captors are.  Other than a person who comes through once a day with food she’s seen no one since arriving.

The consumed eventually subsides and retreats back into its cage, and Briana relaxes slightly.  Her mind is reeling from the info dump, especially the fact that knights are being turned into consumed somehow.  Her father must know, but she sees no immediate way to escape.

This turns her thoughts to Aranthar, and gives us a bit more of her opinion of him.  She is terrified of leaving her fate in the hands of a drunkard, especially one who obviously cares little for the knighthood.  She has no idea if he even knows she is gone, much less cares about it.  She worries he may disappear with the gold, and leave her to rot.

The purpose of this chapter is to build tension.  What will happen to Briana?  Will she become a mindless consumed?  Will she be killed?  How will she escape?  Let the tension build as she sees her broken friend, and fears going through the same thing.

Then the sound of a gate creaking open comes from above.  A beautiful young woman descends the stairs (Arie), and is flanked by a pair of converted knights.  They approach Briana’s friend’s cage, and drag her out screaming.  Briana screams out something unflattering, and tries to get them to take her instead. 

The woman favors her with a smile and let’s her know that her turn is coming soon enough.  Briana doesn’t panic.  She ends the scene realizing that some drunken knight isn’t going to save her.  If you want it done right… (scene ends)

Scene #8

..you have to do it yourself.” Aran mutters.  He’d been prowling around the same district, waiting for the new knights to show up.  He’s perched on a barrel with a wineskin in hand doing his best to impersonate a wastrel.  It’s not exactly hard as he has a lot of experience being one.

He’s been watching for the waif who found them the day before, and is antsy because he only has a half a bell left before he needs to head to the Pearl.  Then he sees the knight he’s been waiting for <need name>.  The man has a stern, young face.  Aran recognizes the look, and doubts the man is corruptible.  That marks him as a target if Aran’s theory holds up.

It does.  The white haired waif shows up and tugs on the man’s sleeve.  She gives him the same hangdog expression she used on Briana, and this knight has much the same reaction.  He holds her while her face is buried in his chest sobbing.  The knight eats it up and before long the pair are walking from the square.

Aran follows at a discreet distance.  The pair head to a crossroads in front of a bakery.  An older woman comes out of the bakery and approaches the knight.  It might be a coincidence, but Aran isn’t buying it.  The way the woman gives obvious sympathy suggests she knows exactly what’s going on. 

Aran files her identity away for later.  He wants to interogate her, but has to keep following the knight and the girl.  Unsurprisingly they wind their way to the back of the pearl.  The knight is set upon by four different men who beat him down quickly.

He is carried down the stairs and the girl trails after.  Aran waits a few minutes then approaches the stairs.  It’s the same stairwell he was told to report to by Merelle the evening before.  He descends and raps on the door with a gloved hand.

A bar slides on the other side and the door creaks open.  You aran? A voice growls.  Aran is let into a dimly lit room.  It takes his eyes a moment to adjust to the flickering torch light, and he begins examining the room in his usual sherlock holmes style.

Small cells line the level.  Most are unoccupied, though the few that are each hold a man in a loincloth or breeches.  Each is very well muscled and fits the image Aran has of the gladiators that must fight here.  There is also a stairway leading down, though there are no torches next to it and it has a disused look.  He wagers that’s where the real work takes place.

A stairwell up runs between the rows of cages.  Aran can see the portcullis at the top, which suggests its connects to the arena.  There is a large circular cage in the center of the room that is roughly fifteen paces across.  It is completely empty at the moment, but Aran is fairly sure its used for sparring matches.

Ah, Aran. A female voice calls from  the stairwell as Arie descendes into view.  Remove Merelle and make it all Arie.  Anyway Arie glides across the room and stops before Aran.  She runs a hand along his jaw and gives him a predatory smile.

“Let me explain how this works.  If you wish to enter the games you will join the house stable.  You will fight a dozen matches over the next three weeks.  Every win will pay you four silver.  Ever loss will pay you one.  You may of course bet on your matches.  If you survive you will receive your pay at the end.  Dead and all is forfeited to the house.  If you accept you eat, sleep and live in the pearl, though we will see that you have comfortable accomodations.  Do these terms suit you?”

Aran excepts, and she tells him there is still the matter of his audition.  She opens the gate to the circular cage and gestures for him to step inside.  Aran does so, although he’s more than a little nervous.  Putting his trust in this woman is hard, because he knows she’s up to something.  Yet he has come too far and now has no choice.

He enters the cage and the door slams shut behind him.  A smaller cage is pushed to the door on the far side of the circular cage.  Inside is a man, but he’s far too feral and has a red gleam to his eyes.  He isntantly recognizes him as consumed and his heart sinks.  Battling consumed is always a tricky proposition, and with no room to manuver it’s going to be one of the toughest fights of his life.

Aran goes through a challenging battle.  It needs to be incredibly close, and he has to be severely wounded by the end.  Only his enurian blade saves his life.  He’s able to dismember the consumed, which is one of the few ways you can kill one.  Not decapitation, but full dismemberment.

After the fight Aran turns panting to Arie and asks how many applicants survive the audition.  Arie gives a low sultry laugh, and says that most people don’t have quite the same audition.  She says that she decided to prepare a little something in his case, and wasn’t at all disappointed.

“The great Aranthar at long last,” he grin becomes truly evil. “Do you think me a fool?  You were seen entering Lowtown in the company of that pretty young knight.  I’ve known since you came to the Pearl last night who you really were.”

“What do you plan to do with me?” Aran asks.  She smiles back slowly. “Why I intend for you to fight in the arena, as we’d agreed.  And then after a very intense battle, I intend for you to die…”

Scene #9

“…down here,” Briana finished.  And she meant it.  There was no way she was dying in this place 

Modification Commentary

I’ll need to use this section to mod the earlier chapters, but I don’t want to go back and re-write the summary just yet.  I need to barrel through the whole timeline so I’m seeing the big picture.

Anyway the change to the earlier chapters has to do with the pearl.  It’s too convenient that he’d find the pearl on his own, and it feels contrived.  First Aran should spend time studying the duty roster.  Through the course of that study he should figure out that three senior knights have patrolled Lowtown for years, but none of them have ever been harmed.

Next he figures that every last one of the knights who has disappeared was recently assigned to Lowtown.  He and Briana discuss this.  She knows some of the knights who disappeared and all were very honorable.  Above reproach.  Aran’s theory is that new knights are being targeted.  This wouldn’t be possible without at least the knowledge of the elder knights.

Aran decides to follow them to see what he can learn.  He sees the knight entering the Pearl, which isn’t too suspicious until he sees the other two knights join the man.  All three head inside.  Aran’s monologue shows that he remembers the pearl from chapter one as the place that was hiring men for the pit fighting within, but that’s his only knowledge of the place so he doesn’t immediately connect the brothel with anything bad.

After seeing the knights head inside Briana and Aran head back to a small inn they are staying at <need name>.  On the way they are approached by the waif since Briana is wearing her tabard.  She wants help of course, and her and Aran have a short argument (see above).  Aran agrees to let her go, but says they are to meet back there in three bells time.  He’s going to investigate the three knights.

This means removing the earlier interogation scene, since Aran wouldn’t know to ask after the brothel.  So at the castle focus on the duty roster and the reception Aran gets from the other knights.

Briana doesn’t return and Aran has a sudden flash.  He realizes he’s been an idiot.  Fresh knights are being picked off the street.  The situation with the girl approaching now seems just a little too convenient, and he strongly suspects she’s been taken.  He has no idea where and his only lead are the elder knights.

Aran returns to the pearl and waits.  The knights eventually stumble out together, and he follows the group for a few blocks before they break up.  One of them heads off by himself, probably towards lodging.  Aran stalks him and then tackles him into an alley.

There is a short struggle that Aran easily wins since he surprised the man, and the other man is drunk.  Aran pins him to a wall and holds a dagger to his throat.  The man sputters about Aran paying for assaulting a knight, that his only hope is to release him and beg for Dalanthar’s mercy.

Aran presses the dagger until it draws blood, and says he stopped praying to Dalanthar a long time ago.  He tells the knight that he’s the one who’d better pray for mercy.  The knight looks terrified, and releases his bowels filling Aran with disgust.  He can’t believe that the knighthood accepts such cowards.

“I’ll talk, I’ll talk,” the man stammers.  Aran sets to interogating him.  He wants to know why the three men go to the Pearl.  At first the man tries to claim its for the sex, but Aran senses something he’s holding back.  He bluffs that he knows more than the knight, and that if the knight lies again they’ll find a bloated corspe with a slit throat. 

The knight is more forthcoming, obviously terrified that Aran will carry out his threat.  He tells Aran that they have a deal with the owner of the Pearl.  She keeps them in money, free whores and free wine.  In exchange they ignore her activities.

What about the missing knights?  What do you know about them?  The man freaks out and goes berserk, and Aran has to stab him through the shoulder before he can subdue him.  The man keeps babbling ‘she’ll kill me, she’ll kill me’.

Aran crouches in front of him and is very frank.  She probably will kill you.  But here’s the rub.  If you don’t tell me I’ll kill you right now.  If you do tell me I’ll let you live, and you might get away from her.  Certain and very painful death or a chance at life.  What’s it going to be?

The man blubbers a bit and says that he’s dead no matter what.  There’s no escaping from Arie.  He can’t run far enough.  He’s bonded.  This single word shocks Aran to his very core.  He suddenly goes cold and considers what the man just said. 

Show me, he commands.  The man jerks off the glove on his hand revealing an elaborate rune on the palm.  This is the confirmation Aran was dreading.  The man is bonded.  The group most famous for use of the The Bond of Jhordil was the vampyr. 

He gives a brief explanantion of its use.  Arie can kill him no matter how far he runs.  Still at least it will be a fast death, whereas Aran can prolong it far longer.

Aran twists the knife in his shoulder.  The knight gives a cry of pain and then says he’ll talk.  He says he’s been feeding the duty roster to Arie at the Pearl.  He doesn’t know what she’s doing with the knights, only that she pays very well for the information.  She has some sort of trap set up to lure in innocent knights, but he doesn’t know what it is.  Just that they disappear within a day or two of being assigned to Lowtown.

Aran crouches down again and goes nose to nose with the knight.  He lets him know that if he sees him again he’s dead.  If he hears he went to Arie he’s dead.  His only chance at life is leaving Lowtown.  If he’s smart he’ll leave Reverian all together.  Aran jerks his knife loose and leaves the wounded man in the alley.  He knows the man is almost certainly dead as soon as Arie learns of his betrayal.  He’s seen men killed by The Bond before.

Now he’s learned the following.  The senior nights are selling out new recruits.  They are selling them to the woman who runs the Pearl.  Why would she be interested in knights?  It would be one thing if they were being killed, but if that was the case why not simply arrange accidents for them?  It would draw less attention to her as the deaths could seem unrelated.

Also why spare the senior knights?  What was she using them for?  Getting them to turn a blind eye to her activities made some sense, but you didn’t bond a knight.  You bought him through bribes.  The Bond was the most invasive magic Aran knew of.  All magic was illegal in Olivantia, but sight of the Bond would terrify people and make them believe the vampyr had returned.  It’s use made no sense, unless you stood to gain something vital.

Aran’s thoughts turn to Briana and how to find her.  Chances are that the knights aren’t being murdered as there have been no bodies found.  That meant she’d be kept alive somewhere.  All he needed to do was find the waif who’d approached them ,and follow her.  If the girl pulled her ruse on another knight that would allow him to see where she was bringing them.

There was also the pearl itself.  Evidently this Arie was much more than she appeared to be.  If she commanded magic powerful enough to apply a bond then she was incredibly dangerous.  She might or might not be a vampyr, but it was best to assume she was until he learned otherwise.

As hard as it was to accept it seemed Gavin was right.  The vampyr had returned.  Why?  What was their goal?  Operating from the shadows didn’t seem to fit their style.  The vampyr had been bold, inclined to action.  Their pride prevented them from stealth. 

So maybe this Arie wasn’t a vampyr.  Or, if she was maybe she was operating alone.  Just because she had the blood didn’t mean she worked for the council.  In fact it seemed impossible for her to work for the council as they’d all but wiped it out during The Purge. 

Aran decides that to learn more he has to go to the Pearl.  He wants to make the visit quickly since he has no idea how long it will be before this Arie gets word that the knight betrayed her.  He heads back to his inn room and puts on his best clothing, which isn’t too impressive.  He buckles his old sword around his waist and brings a few of the gold Gavin paid him.

Flashing that much coin is a quick excuse to get killed, but he has no idea how expensive the Pearl is.  He adds some silver to cover the gold, and tucks the purse inside his tunic to make sure it isn’t cut.  The Pearl is located in one of the roughest neighborhoods in Lowtown, and that sort of thing is alarmingly common.

Aran picks his way to the brothel and enters the place per the scene already sketched out above.  He’ll use the same story and be led to the arena per earlier notes.  The scene will still end with her telling him to return the following night.

I still need to decide whether the story is stronger just from Aran’s PoV, or if I should include Briana’s.  For now I will write her chapters and see how it goes.

Scene 9

“…down here,” Briana finished.  And she meant it.  There was no way she was dying in this place.  Briana has been kept in the cage since her arrival, and has no idea what’s going to happen to her.  The blond friend was taken away, and wasn’t brought back.

Briana has run down every possible escape scenario, but there doesn’t seem to be a way out of the cage.  Even if she could get loose she has no weapons, and would have to fight her way past the guards at the top of the stairs.  This leaves her no choice but to wait, which drives her insane.  She hates inaction and it makes her antsy.

The door to the top of the room opens and Arie descends.  This time she is flanked by the blond friend, who acts very subservient and calls Arie mistress.  She asks Arie what she’s done to her friend, but Arie answers, “why nothing.  I’ve merely shown her the benefits of entering my service.”

“What do you want with me?” Briana asks.

“Why your sword arm.  You’re going to fight for me,” Arie’s tone suggests she’s talking to a favorite pet. “I’m told that you’re quite skilled.  Why don’t we find out?”

Blond friend and another knight open the gate.  Blond friend uses a collar at the end of a long pole to snag Briana, who’s muscles are too cramped to allow her to escape.  They escort her upstairs into the arena, which is closed and shuttered at the moment. 

Arie heads to the observation box above the arena, and calls down that the training is about to begin.  Because she just bonded BlondFriend she can’t immediately convert Briana, but she can at least see what’s she’d made of in the arena.

The other gate rolls up and a powerfully built man emerges.  He’s wearing leather armor and carrying a longsword and shield.  Briana recognizes him, and calls out in a low voice to him.  Dert, it’s me.  Dert gives her a feral grin, and she realizes that whatever’s been done to Blond has also been done to Dert.

Dert comes at her hard and Briana has to work hard to keep him at bay.  This puzzles her as she’s always been able to best him easily.  He’s stronger and faster than he ever was before, and she summons every ounce of her skill against him.  After a long and dramatic fight she finally bests him by clubbing him with the flat of the blade she was given.

“Very good,” Arie calls from up top.  “I think we may have found a new champion.  You have more potential than any of your friends.  I look forward to helping you develop it.”

“What makes you think I’l fight for you?” Briana calls out defiantly.  She drops her sword in the sawdust and glares defiantly up at arie.

“All you need is the proper motivation,” Arie chuckles.  She runs a hand along Blond friend who stares up at Arie in adoration. “Your time is coming soon Briana.  When it does you will want nothing more than to please me.”

*** As a note for earlier in the story I need to develop the specifics of the Bond.  Maybe it can only be performed under a certain auspice of the moon?  No moon or full moon?  This would limit her to one conversion a month, and as she’s just done BlondFriend it means Briana is safe for a few weeks.  She doesn’t know that, but I need a way to get Aran that info ***

Scene 10

Aran has seen the knight in the arena.  He strongly suspects that Arie is using bonded knights in the arena, but he doesn’t know why.  What possible motivation could she have? There are dozens of highly skilled sellswords she could have coopted if she needed talent.  Why would she want knights specifically?  Aran feels that the answer is right in front of him, but for some reason he just can’t see it.

That day checks the duty roster and realizes another new knighth as been assigned to Lowtown.  He follows the newcomer at a discreet distance to see what happens.  Sure enough the waif approaches him, and leads him back to the pearl per the scene above.  This time, though, Aran doesn’t enter.

He realizes Briana has been taken inside the pearl along with the other knights, but any sort of immediate investiagtion will likely result in his capture.  A sorceress with the power to create the bond will have various alarms and spells in place to deal with him.

Aran decides to fight fire with fire.  Magic is illegal in Olivantia, but that doesn’t meant that there aren’t those who practice it in secret.  He knows of just such a woman, and heads to her shop which is located on the edge of Lowtown near the border with Oldtown.

Yl’tava is a demon blooded tribal shaman from Orlan near the rent.  Aran doesn’t know why she came to Olivantia, but her powers make her a valuable contact.  She is extremely well versed in a variety of scholarly topics, and practices divination besides.  She can see the future, see through obsfucation and is just a generally smart woman.

Aran brings her an approapriate gift of blood and honey, though he’s never been brave enough to ask what she does with either.  Tava’s shop seems to just sell herbs and simple remedies, and looks fairly normal to all appearances.  Any knight that walked in would suspect nothing.

Tava herself always wears a pair of spectacles and a shawl over her heard.  Her hair is white and stringy like an elderly woman, although her skin is smoother than it should be for a woman her age.  The cowl is worn to cover a pair of small horns, though Aran has never seen them.  The spectacles has a faint purplish tint to them which somewhat cover her amber eyes. 

Aran gives Tava the gift and she takes him through a hallway and into a completely different room.  This one will be decorated in the manner of an Orlan shaman, and is where Tava’s real work is done.  Aran tells her that in addition to the gift of blood and honey he is willing to offer gold for information.

Tava tells him that she will assess a worthy price once she knows what information he seeks.  He begins by asking her to explain the The Bond of Jhordil.  He knows the basics, but has specific questions. 

Can the bonded be used to find the bond holder?  They can, Tava allows.

How often can a Bonded be created and under what circumstances?  The ritual must be performed on a night with no moon to avoid the notice of the stewards, so once a month.  It requires a sacrifice of blood, and requires an extraordinarily powerful Binder to achieve.  The only ones she knows of are in Hasra, and there are only a few.  She knows of no one in Olivantia who could perform a binding like that.

Aran forks over a gold crown, which is probably more than the information is worth.  He doesn’t mind paying extra as she’s helped him in the past and asked little in return.  Tava is quite pleased with the fee and kisses him on each cheek.  She tells him to be careful.  Something dark and terrible is coming and he must tread carefully or be swallowed by it.

Scene 11

Aran heads back to the Pearl for his audition.  His understanding from the previous evening is that there will be open challenges at the beginning of the night.  People who think they can hang are entered into pairs, and work their way through a tournament bracket.  The winner of the tournament gets a fat purse and the opportunity to fight in future games.

Aran wants to fight, because it will give him a closer look at the gladiators.  He needs proof that they are knights, and is hoping it will lead him to Briana.

Aran returns to the Pearl wearing a leather jerkin and carrying his longsword.  He’s a bit worried about using an Enurian blade in a place like this, but figures people will chalk it up to an oddity.  The odds of someone connecting it with his former identity are pretty slim, especially given his heard and long hair.

*** Need to work this in earlier.  Aran’s blade will come to him if he calls it much like summon the loyal steel.  This needs to be mentioned earlier so that when he uses the ability to save Briana and himself from the pits it doesn’t seem like Deus Ex Machina ***

The format for the tournament is simple.  Winner stays, loser dies.  This continues until all contestants have fought, and leaves one man standing at the end.

Aran sees about a dozen people gathered for the contest.  He sizes them up quickly, deciding that three of them are a possible threat but the rest are just fodder.  Invent all three people he fights.  Each should be interesting in their own right.

Aran takes the floor in the fourth bout.  The man holding the floor is already wounded, so he makes quick work of his opponent.  Then Aran has to brace himself for seven more fights, one after another.  Have him eventually win, but this should make for a decent sized fight scene and show Aran’s ingenuity.

He’s barely standing at the end.  Arie awards him the purse for the evening to thunderous applause, and says that he will be joining her stable of fighters in the days to come.  This is the end of the night’s entertainment so the crowd filters out.

Arie insists on having her people tend Aran’s injuries, and has him brought to a plush room where he is allowed to lounge on a Rome style couch.  She lounges on a nearby couch and orders wine brought for the both of them.  Aran drinks greedily at his, figuring it should be safe.  If she wanted him dead her guards could kill him at will.

While they are drinking one of the servants brings a steaming bowl, razor, towel and lather.  Aran looks askance at them, suddenly very nervous.  His hearded face and long hair have been a part of his identity for a long time, and among other things they function as a disguise.  There are still statues of him, and if they see his face and connect it with the sword it could ruin everything.

“You’re going to shave me?” Aran asks, struggling to keep his tone non-chalant.  She tells him that if he is to draw the biggest crowds he must look his best.  There is a handsome man under all that hair, and the crowd will appreciate seeing it.  Her tone is insistent and brooks no compromise.

Worse, he feels the power behind the words.  It is dark and terrible and something he finally recognizes.  It is the pull of the vampyr, and while he’s been trained to resist it the ability isn’t what worries him.  Arie is a vampyr, and a powerful one at that.

Scene 12

Aran is panicked.  Actual flight isn’t possible or it would arouse suspicion, so he has no choice but to allow Arie’s blond servant (BlondFriend from earlier) to shave his beard and trim his hair down to the shoulders.  He is very nervous that someone else is holding a razor to his neck, but he forces himself to stillness.

Arie watches him like a predator as he finishes his wine and BlondFriend lathers up his face.  She doesn’t speak again until Blond begins deft strokes as she shaves him.

“I have to admit that it shocks me,” she purrs. “A man of your stature reduced to fighting in an illegal pit in the worst alley in Lowtown.  Tell me, how did you come to end up here?  I’ve never heard the story of how you left the knights.”

And just like that she sprang her trap, Aran realized.  It was completely invisible, yet stronger than steel.  She knew who he was, and probably had known before he’d even begun fighting.  He fought down the panic and delivered his response in an even drawl.  She knew who he was, but it didn’t mean she knew why he was here.

“They disgust me.  They made all sorts of promises about what life would be like after the purge,” Aran explained as the blade slid along his skin, a very palpable threat. “They broke all of them.  The people were left to rot, and the merchants from Hasra were only too happy to come in and exploit them.” 

He didn’t need to feign the anger, because the entire story was true.  The knights had broken their promises.  They had allowed the foreign merchants to exploit the starving and ignorant citizens.  The people were newly freed, and had no idea how to govern.  They were helpless before the much more sophisticated Hasrans, and the men they counted on to protect them had instead protected the merchants under the auspicies of the law.

“So their greatest hero lost faith and deserted,” Arie’s rich contralto rolled over him like the smoothest silk.  He could feel the attraction.  It came in a wave, far stronger than any natural feeling.  Yet Aran had been trained to resist it, and refused to let it cloud his senses. “And you’ve spent the last decade and a half doing what?  Working as a merchant’s guard?  That seems ironic.”

The blond woman had removed most of his beard now, and his skin itched.  He ignored it and focused on Arie.  The woman was far more dangerous than she appeared, and if he forgot for even a moment he was dead.

“I take whatever jobs come my way,” Aran shrugged. “But I don’t work for forgein merchants, and I don’t slaughter innocents.”  The last words were said with more fire than he intended.  Stewards but this bloody wine was strong.  He thrust out the goblet and one of the waiting attendants hurried to fill it.

BlondFriend had finished with his beard.  She used a warm cloth to towel away the remaining lather, and then stepped behind him with a pair of shears to being on his hair.  It was rather ragged.

“Of course.  You needn’t worry about any innocents here,” Arie gestured around her meaningfully. “I believe I can offer you a very promising future Aran.  If I need word of your identity people will come from all over the city to see you fight.”

“Aren’t you worried about the Dawn finding out and shutting you down?” Aran raised an eyebrow.  She seemed awfully non-chalant about running an illegal operation under the noses of the knighthood.  The order frowned on fights to the death, and more so on the gambling, drugs and prostitution that surrounded it.  They’d never let this place stand.

“Not in the least.  The knights are incompetent, and I’ve taken steps to ensure that they leave us alone,” Arie purred. “You seem to harbor quite a dislike of them.  I think you and I have more in common than I initially suspected.”

Arie goes on to hint about her plan for the knights, but doesn’t  tell Aran anythign specific.  She does say that if he performs well in the arena, she may be able to grant him revenge against the knights.  Her plan needs to suggest the ultimate downfall of the knights, but not reveal too much info.

Blondie finishes trimming his hair.  Aran has finished the second glass of wine and is feeling very tipsy.  He’s still in control of himself though.  Mostly anyway.  Arie says he must be tired, but has prepared quarters for him.  He will be staying in the lowest level of the Pearl in very plush rooms. 

Arie touches him and her gaze promises much more.  He can feel her vampyric allure working overtime, and longs to give in.  Then she takes her leave.  As she is going Aran asks her a question.  Can he use the facilities below to train?  Arie’s eyes narrow and he feels as if he’s being weighted on scales.  She agrees, but tells him to stay out of the lowest level.  There are things down there she doesn’t yet trust him to see.  Aran agrees of course.

As soon as she is gone Aran takes some time to examine his rooms.  They are much more comfortable than he’d have expected for Lowtown, and demonstrate just how great Arie’s influence is.  The opulence of the room belongs more in Hightown, and seems out of place in the Pearl.

He avails himself of the bath, and afterwards opens the wardrobe.  To his shock a full wardrobe of clothing have been prepared.  This is alarming because it means that Arie definitely knew who he was last night.  It also shows how much influence she has.

Money will accomplish many things, but getting an entire wardrobe created in a day’s time suggested that Arie had a level of influence that transcended money.  How deep did her influence go?  What was her plan for the knights?  He needed more information.

Aran dresses in a forest green tunic and a pair of black breeches.  The only thing he keeps are his well worn boots and sword belt.  He leaves his room and heads down into the cages surrounding the pit.  All are empty, which isn’t surprising given that the fighting is over for the evening.  A little exploration reveals a stairwell leading down, which clearly heads to the area Arie told him to avoid.

He creeps down to the door and presses an ear to the worn wood.  He can hear low voices on the other side, plus the clink of metal.  Then a dog starts barking and hurls its weight against the door.  Aran is startled and realizes that someone could be coming.  He flies back up the stairs and sneaks back to his room.

Briana is somewhere within that basement.  He’s sure of it.

Scene 13

Briana is awakened by the sound of a viscious mastiff going nuts.  She looks up to see the consumed dog scrambling at the door as it to attack something on the other side.  Curious.  The only time she’d seen it react that way was towards the knights in the cages.  The thing was mild as milk around their captors.

“What do you think is on the other side of that door?” Asked CaptiveKnight from the cage next to her.  He’d been brought in the night before.  This is the one Aran tailed. “Something certainly has that thing’s blood up.”

“The stairs lead up to the pit,” Briana explained.  She knows and likes CaptiveKnight. “The only people I’ve seen come through are our captors though.  The dog’s never reacted like that before.”

The man with a whip <this guy DEFINITELY needs a name> comes strolling between the cages, and yells at them to be quiet.  He opens Briana’s cage and CaptiveKnight’s cage and tells them they’ll be sparring today.  They are led into the center cage I described above, but aren’t given weapons until forced into the center cage.

“Are we going to be sparring against each other?” CaptiveKnight asks as he takes a few experimental swings with his sword.

“No,” man with whip laughs. “I’ve got something different in mind.”  He wheels a cage and presses it against one of the gates into the circular cage.  The cage he is pushing contains a consumed man who is already thrashing against the bars.

“Your first lesson is survival.  All you have to do is live,” the man cackles.  He raises the cage and the consumed comes flying into the cage.

“Spread out.  Hit it from the right and I’ll get the left,” Briana commands as she flows along the left side of the cage.  CaptiveKnight looks terrified, but holds it together and goes right.  Briana’s mind is nearly numb with terror, but she falls back on her training to sustain her.

The consumed goes after CaptiveKnight, who is quavering before it.  He gets his blade in the way, but even though he manages a deep gash on its thigh the thing doesn’t slow at all.  It tackles him to the cage floor and begins mauling him.

Quick as a cat Briana is on the thing.  She rams her blade through the base of its neck, severing the spinal cord though not the head.  The thing falls flopping to the cage floor, and she grabs CaptiveKnight by the collar and drags him away to examine him.  She has field medic training, and tears a strip from her tabard to bind the wound in his neck.

As she’s binding the wound the consumed lurches to its feet and charges, she’s unable to dodge in time.  It tackles her to the ground, and she struggles desperately to keep its fanged maw from sinking into her neck.  She finally seizes the hilt of her sword (which she set down to tend CaptiveKnight), and launches a clumsy slash at its ankle.

It slices into the thing’s leg sending it crashing to the floor.  Briana sucks in a shuddering gasp and rolls to her feet.  She staggers back against the bars and holds up her weapon feebly.  Before she can react the consumed scrabbles across the floor, and latches on to CaptiveKnight’s neck.

“No,” she cries.  She raises her weapon and prepares to attack, but a harsh voice cracks from outside the room and stops her.

“He’s already gone,” the whip man laughs. “That’s your first lesson.  In order for you to survive, others must die.  Try to save everyone, and you’ll only end up dead.”  He pops open the cage and gestures for her to step out.

Briana is conflicted for long moments.  She knows that she can’t stop the consumed.  She’d need to not just decapitate it, but completely dismember it.  Without fire or a laurel stake it was the only way to kill the beast.  She’d have to do it while tired and weak from captivity, and in an enclosed space with a creature much stronger than she was.

The alternative was even worse.  It meant letting a companion die, ripped apart by the monster before her.  She couldn’t do it.  Briana leaps back into the cage.  She seizes her sword in both hands and launches a powerful strike that severs the thing’s head.  She grabbs the collar of its shirt and throws it off of CaptiveKnight.

The thing is already scrabbing for its head, but she goes berserk and cuts each limb from the main body.  The whole thing lies there twitching, and she seizes Captiveknight and drags him from the cage.

“I’m not willing to accept that.  We both live,” Briana snarls at him.  He laughs uproarously and tells his men to tend to CaptiveKnight’s wounds.

“It may be that you’re right,” the man grins a gap toothed smile. “Your friend might survive that mauling.  Might not.  Either way it’s the same for you.  Time for the next phase in your training.”

This chapter should show Briana’s struggle.  She fears for her life, but also fears for her brothers.  She wants to escape, but can’t leave them behind.  She is forced to accept that the great and powerful knights are helpless.  All she learned about them being a shining beacon of light is thrown into question.  If the knight’s cannot help themselves then how can they protect others?

This is the first part of her character development.  In the beginning she is arrogant and has complete faith in the knighthood.  By the end she needs to understand that she isn’t as knowledgable as she thought, and that the knights are corruptible and inadequate.  They are a pale shadow of the lie she was taught as a child.

Scene 14

Aranthar awakens the following afternoon.  He’s intensely curious as to what lies downstairs, but knows that open investigation is foolhardy.  Arie will be watching him closely, and won’t trust him yet.  He won’t do Briana any good if he gets captured, so patience is important.

He awakens to find a cloth covered platter and a warm bath.  He is availing himself of both when the door opens without warning, and Arie comes strolling into the room.  She is wearing a stunning outfit, and he doesn’t have to feign the lust that overtakes him.

“There’s room for two in here,” Aran offers with a grin.  The best way to keep his footing around Arie is to play the role he knows best.  The lecher.

“I’ve come on business I’m afraid,” Arie gives a slight pout that makes Aran want to do whatever she asks. “I’d like to spend the day with you, but I’m afraid you’ll be busy.”

“Busy?” Aran straightened in the bath.  A sinking feeling was borne in his gut.  What did she know? “What do you have planned?”

“I can make you a very wealthy man, Aran.  But for that to happen there are things you must do for me.  If rumors are to be believed you are the most skilled swordman in this pathetic little town.” Arie explained. “I plan to test those rumors.  You will be set against the most impressive fighters in the city, and you will best them all.  Beginning today you train from sunup to sundown.

She approached him and sat on the edge of the tub, “I know this training might be onerus, but if you can endure it for a month or two the rewards will be greater than you could possibly imagine.” She leans low and gives him an inviting smile, leaving little down as to what reward she’s talking about.

Aran briefly ponders her request.  He doubts its really a request, and if he presses her he’s certain he’ll find himself a prisoner.  No one knows he’s there, which means she could simply make him disappear.  He’s completely in her power, and she knows it.  So he chooses not to test her offer.

“I need to shake off the rust,” Aran grinned up at her. “That’s a bit more brisk of a training regimen than I’m used to, but from the sound of it I’m going to need every bit of my stamina.” This is said with as much of a leer as he can muster, and she responds with a delighted laugh.

She tells him to head downstairs when he’s finished.  The trainer is waiting there.  Oh, and one more thing Aran.  You will see things down there you might find distasteful.  Each and every last person suffering is a knight, and none deserve your pity.

She leaves and Aran rapidly dresses while he considers her words.   Staying in the Pearl is no particular hardship.  He’s been without money long enough to ever pass up a free place to stay, even if your hostess was a powerful vampyress who could kill you at any moment.

The downside was that he had no way to get information back to Gavin.  He couldn’t request help, and if the unthinkable happened and Aran was killed Gavin would never know what happened to Briana.  That meant he was playing a dangerous game.  He needed to find the information he was seeking without tipping his hand to Arie.

Aran dressed hurridly in the new wardrobe he’d been provided.  He headed down into the training area per the instructions he’d been given.  Sure enough the guy with the whip (let’s call him Trainer for now).  Trainer welcomes Aran, but tells him not to expect special treatment.  As far as he’s concerned Aran is nothing more than fresh meat.

Aran is brought below to start training.  He’s taken into the area with the knights, and can’t help but notice that Trainer is studying him too intently.  Unless he misses his guess this is a test to see how he reacts to seeing knights in captivity.  He knows that showing any reaction will land him in the same situation, if not outright death.

His gaze slides across the impoverished knights in the cages.  He allows it to touch Briana’s gaze so she’s aware that he sees her, but then it slides on without acknowledging her.  He hopes she’s smart enough not to give him away.

“I need one of you maggots to serve as a training partner,” Trainer growls as he cracks his whip. “CaptiveKnight get up.”  The man tries to struggle to his feet, but can barely stand. 

“I thought this was supposed to be practice.  I don’t want to fight some half dead corpse,” Aran snarls.  “And I don’t want to fight just one.  Give me the best two to start with.  That ought to warm me up.”

The trainer’s eyes widen at Aran’s temerity, but then he bursts into laughter. “You’re a cheeky one aint ya?  I don’t know why, but mistress seems to favor you so I’ll make sure not to mark up that pretty face.  Make no mistake though.  Down here my word is law.  You don’t make demands.  You follow mine.”

Aran considered his response carefully.  Should he cowtow to the man, or show defiance?  Defiance would mean punishment, and could make an enemy of this man.  He might need him later.

“Hey you’re the guy with the whip, but if I’m supposed to be training you may as well make it worth my while,” Aran gives a shrug and a sheepish smile.  The man gives a predatory smile, and Aran feels a surge of elation.  The man clearly underestimates him, and doesn’t see him as a threat. 

“Briana, get up,” Trainer cracks his whip and it flicks between the bars and stops an inch or two from Briana’s face.  Then he turns to Aran. “You’ll fight her.  If you can best the little girl then I’ll see about giving you a second opponent.”

The man’s face was easier to read than some cool analogy.  He knew Briana’s capabilities, but had never seen Aran fight.  He believed she was going to best him, and wanted to see Aran made a fool.  Interesting.

Briana steps from her cage into the central round cage.  The smaller cages line the main cage like spokes on a wheel.  Most of the other knights come to the edge to watch the fight.  Nearly all know who Briana is, and most shoot him pitying looks.  None seem to recognize him without the beard or longer hair.

The Trainer opens the portion of the central cage leading into the main room, and lets Aran inside.  As soon as Aran enters the gate snaps shut behind him.  Briana eyes him warily, but he doesn’t see even a flicker of recognition in her eyes.  Good, the girl is smarter than he gave her credit for.  That meant she should understand what came next.

“So you want me to fight a little girl?” Aran turned and scoffed to the Trainer. “This is the best you could bring me?” He sees that Briana is tired, bruised and stiff.  He’s giving her time to unlimber, and hoping proving to the Trainer that he’s an idiot.

Briana didn’t wait for his reply.  She rushed him.  Her footwork was sloppy on the uneven sawdust, the hallmark of one who’d trained for too long on the smooth even training ground.  But she was damnably fast.  Nearly as fast as he was, and that was saying a lot.

The fight between them is quick and brutal.  Aran takes advantage of his longer reach, her time in captivity and his greater experience.  Have him study her form and technique the entire time he fights her, and muse to himself that he could turn her into a blademaster of incredible skill.  But in the end he disarms her and puts his blade to her throat.  She sinks to the ground, and he turns a triumphant gaze on Trainer.

“She’s good, though if I had my choice I can think of other dances I’d rather lead her in,” he says.  This triggers a lot of laughter from the Trainer, and even a few of the imprisoned knights.   Aran feels immediate regret as a flash of anger and embarassment suffuses Briana’s face, but chalks it up as necessary to his cover.

“Maybe after your training I’ll let you have a go at her,” Trainer offers. “For now get back to work.  Scrub1, Scrub2 and Scrub3 come to the wall.  Let’s see how you do against something a bit more challenging…”

Aran heaved a heavy sigh.  No wine, an inch from death and twelve long hours of exhertion in front of him.  It was going to be a very long day.

Scene 15

Briana was not amused.  It was bad enough that she’d been forced into captivity, and forced to fight against her will.  Now she was to serve as a whore.  Not something she would ever have done willingly, but then her will hardly mattered at this point.

*** Maybe start scene earlier with Arie laying the binding?  This will give the reader their first look at magic and show how afraid Briana is about it.  Then she walks to Aran’s quarters, preferably not knowing what man she’s about to serve.  This will heighten tension ***

Briana has been bound by Arie to service Aranthar.  She must go to him and be the ultimate in subservient women, though every part of her mind screams out at how wrong this is.  Especially with Aran of all men.  Even though its not his fault she harbors a lot of blame towards him.

She is wearing a gorgeous dress, her hair is done up and she has jewelry on.  All of this is very foreign to her, as Briana cares nothing for her appearance or the trappings of a lady.  A fresh surge of irritation washes over her as she remembers the glib expression on Arie’s face when the woman placed the binding on her.  She seemed to take perverse pleasure in dressing and grooming her.

Briana doesn’t yet realize that Arie is a vampire, though she does know she’s a binder.  Magic is highly illegal in Olivantia, and this is the first sorceress that Briana has ever ran across.  The whole experience has terrified her, and she’s doing her best to keep things together.

She reaches the door to Aran’s room, and knocks against her own will.  It’s as if her body is being controlled by a very slutty puppetmaster.  Aran opens the door wearing a forest green tunic, black breeches and his comfortable old boots.  His now much shorter hair is bound in a simple ponytail, and his sword is buckled around his waist.

It’s a completely different look than Briana is used to, and she’s forced to admit that he’s really quite handsome.  Against her will she slides her arm around his waist and slips into the chamber.  Briana is horrified by her behavior as she all but throws herself at him, but she is powerless to stop it.  She rages inside like an animal beating at the bars of a cage.  Nothing.

Aran seems clearly shocked by her behavior.  He pulls her inside and shuts the door, but pushes her down into a chair and keeps her at arms length as she tries to seduce him.

*** I need to show earlier that Aran is more of a man-ho.  His not taking advantage of Briana needs to highlight the changes he is going through, but in order to do that I first need to establish him as a major ManHo ***

Briana continues shouting in her own head, willing Aran to understand what’s happened.  She’s unbelievably embarassed, especially when she begins unbuckling Aran’s belt.  He has to physically restrain her to prevent her from undressing him.

“Ok now I know this is too good to be true,” Aran steps behind a plus chair, making sure to keep it between them. “She’s performed a binding on you, hasn’t she?”

Yes, Briana screams in her head.  But her body simply sways around the chair and heads for Aran, determined to seduce him and give him every pleasure that a woman could.  A sudden grin blossoms on Aran’s face.

“You know the fastest way to break a binding is to let the bound fufill whatever task they’ve been set,” Aran gives her a horrifying smirk.  He continues to circle the chair though, keeping her away from him.   Rage gives way to desperation and a tiny flicker of hope.  Can Aran really help her break the binding?  It doesn’t seem likely, as she views Aran as unreliable and more or less worthless.  Still he is her only hope.

“Get on the bed,” Aran nods at the plush bed behind him, and against her will she saunters across the room and sprawls languidly across it. “Good, now put your arms over your head.”  Briana complies, though she’s furious that Aran seems to be taking advantage of her.

 He removes his swordbelt and panic surges through her.  He’s really going to do this.  Then he sits on the best next to her, belt still in hand.  He uses it to bind her hands to the top of the bed, and while her body smiles she’s screaming inside.

What I need to get across here is her fear of being effectively raped, and the belief that Aran will do it.  He’s come across as a womanizer and has already eyed her like a piece of meat.  She is horrified that she might lose her virtue to a man like this.  Every action Aran takes should further this view to invoke a little fear in the reader.

What’s really going on is that Aran knows she’s under a binding.  Trying to stop someone who’s bound from performing their specified task often has violent results, which is why he goes along with it long enough to tie her on the bed.  It’s here that he reveals his true motives.

“As much as I’d love to take this to its logical conclusion we have more important things to take care of.  I knew you wanted me though,” Aran grins as he finishes binding her wrists. “I suppose you’re probably wondering why I bound your wrists.  Consider it a precaution.  If you deny someone who’s bound from their goal it often provokes violent results.”

“I’m assuming you’ve been trained to resist a binding, but obviously it didn’t work.” Aran continued from just a few feet away. “The trick is willpower.  The complete and total dedication to breaking the bond.  Things like anger, fear or embarassment get in the way.  You need to put these things aside and focus totally on the bond itself.  You must will it away with your entire mind, or it could last for days.  Longer depending on how powerful the binder was.”

Aran rises from the bed and moves over to the plush chair.  He pulls over a small end table, a quill and a piece of parchment and begins sketching.  “Don’t mind me.  I’m just painting your portrait.  Of course, if you ask me to stop I will.”

It’s an insidious prod, and it pisses Briana off.  The only way she can tell him to stop is to break the bond.  But the only way to break the bond is to stop being angry.  Yet there he sits smugly sketching away.  Her, nearly naked.  Briana closes her eyes and starts breathing deeply.

She will prove Aranthar wrong, but it means mastering her emotions.  Briana explores the bond, finding a sort of cage built around her mind.  She studies it, willing the bars to break.  At first she feels nothing, but after opening her eyes and seeing Aran sketch away she closes her eyes and tries again.  She gathers her will and focuses on the cage again.  Something shifts impercetively, she pushes harder and breaks through.

“Untie me,” she gasps as the bond fades away.

“You’re not going to try to undress me again are you?” Aran asks innocently as he continues to sketch.  He doesn’t even look up to meet her gaze.

“If you don’t free me I’ll plant a knife in your kidney the first chance I get.  I swear it,” she snarls back.  Aran finally looks up, smiling warmly now.

“Back to your usual charming self,” Aran laughs. “That’s pretty clear proof that the bond has been broken.”  He rises and sets down the portrait he was working on, crosses the room and releases her.  He buckles his belt around his waist and returns to his seat while Brianna gets to her feet, and tugs the skimpy dress so it covers more of her.

“How did you know?” she asks.

“Oh come on how stupid do you think I am?  You show up wearing that One day after being a prisoner.” his gaze roams her body. “You’ve even got bruises on your legs.  There’s no way you’d have ever agreed to this on your own.  Even if that wasn’t true it’s exactly the sort of thing I’d expect from Arie.” Aran’s mirth fades and he seems quite concerned now.

“Thank you.  For not- for not doing what you could have done,” Briana has trouble meeting his gaze, and struggles to make the statement. 

“Even I don’t sleep with women against their will, Bree.” Aran tells her levely.  “I’d never take advantage of a woman like that, regardless of what you think of me.”

“Well you have my thanks.  A lesser man might have done some very improper things,” she favors him with a smile and pats his arm.  Much to her surprise its with genuine affection.  She’s beginning to like Aran in spite of herself.  “So what now?  Do we try to escape?”

“We’d never make it,” Aran sighed. “Arie has too many people on her payroll.  If we try to break you loose they’ll turn on us and we’ll end up floating down the Rhyme.”

“So you just want me to go back to my cell?  That’s your grand plan?” Bree’s anger rises again. “I’d rather die with a blade in my hand than live as a slave.  Especially after…after what she did to me.”

“I don’t blame you,” Aran gave back. “If it comes to it I’d rather die with a sword in my hand, but we don’t have the luxury of dying.  We have a job to do, and that means staying alive.  Here, this will help steady your nerves.”  Aran rose and poured her a goblet of wine.

Briana drinks it against her better judgement, but the spreading warmth brings her a little bit of comfort.  What are they going to do?  What’s Arie’s plan?  She feels lost and turns to Aran for guidance.”Do we even know what her plan is?”

“No, and that’s what worries me.  I can’t see any reason why she’d want to kidnap knights and use them in the arena.  It seems like an awfully big risk to take just for a few fighters.” he replies.

“Maybe, but it does keep the knights out of her hair.  If she wants to avoid notice all she has to do is make sure there are no knights to find her.” Bree says.

“I don’t buy it for two reasons,” Aran shakes his head. “First, if she wanted to eliminate the knights why not make the attacks look like accidents?  It would be easier to staff this place with sellswords, and to just slit a few throats in alleys.  Besides, Arie isn’t just a binder.  She’s a vampyr.”

“The vampyr were vanquished during the purge,” Briana scoffs.  But even as she does so a tiny terrified feeling begins building in the pit of her stomach.

“I’d say I know a good deal more about the purge than you do,” Aran sighs and refills both their goblets. “By the way would you mind putting on a cloak or something?  That outfit is, uh, distracting.”

Bree looks down at herself in horror, then hops up and quickly pulls a cloak from the wardrobe.  She drapes if over her to cover her near nakedness.

“During the purge we killed perhaps two thirds of the council.  Most of the survivors were wiped out during the final battle at SomePlace.  But not all of them.  Some councilors survived.  How much do you know about the vampyr families?”

“Not much,” Bree admitted.  “Our studies taught us little about the vampyr since they aren’t a threat anymore.”

“Each councilor was also the head of their own household.  Because the vampyr don’t age as we do some of these households contained four or five generations.  A councilor’s family could number dozends of vampyr.  Olivanticus’s family had over a hundred members at the time of his death.”

“I don’t see the relevance.  They vampyr were wiped out, so what does that matter?” she replied.

“That’s just it.  We killed the councilors through treachery and stealth,” Aran’s disgust is evident. “But most of the familes escaped.  Hundreds of vampyr survived the purge, but we thought they were smart enough to stay out of the country since they are actively hunted.”

“That can’t be true.  We were taught that the vampyr were wiped out,” maybe it’s the wine, but Bree’s outrage come out in her voice.  This can’t be true.

“You were taught lies.  Why do you think I left the order?  They broke their promises to the people, and they lied about their greatest achievement.” Aran said. “The vampyr survived.  We don’t know where they’ve been hiding all these years, and its possible that Arie returned on her own.  But given what we know of her plot so far do you really believe that?”

“Dalanthar’s mercy,” Bree downed her wine. “She could be the forerunner for an entirely new council.  There could be hundreds of them.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Aran shuddered and downed his own wine. “For now we’ve only seen the one vampire.  She could be operating alone.”

“But there’s that consumed downstairs.  The mastiff,” Bree interjected.

“True, and it suggests there’s more here than just a renegade vampyr setting up shop in Reverian,” Aran sighed and filleda third goblet.  He didn’t offer her any and she didn’t ask. “The only way we’ll know for sure is if we can uncover more of her plan.”

“How do you suggest we do that?  I’m not exactly in a position to learn anything.  All we do down there is train, and our only time off is for fights in the pit.” Bree replied.  She didn’t like the idea of languishing in a cell, especially when it would likely afford no information.

“Maybe.  Are there other knights trapped down there?” Aran asked.  His gaze was probing, as if waiting for her to draw a certain conclusion.

“There are about a half dozen.  More have been brought in since I was taken, though two of the knights who first showed up disappeared and didn’t come back.”  Bree explained.  “I can’t just leave them there.  We have to get them out.” And there it was.  The conclusion he’d wanted her to draw.  If they left now they could save themselves, but the others could be dead by the time they came back with help.

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do,”  Aran agreed. “While you’re down there learning what you can and preparing the others to escape I’ll be learning everything I can about Arie’s plan.  She seems to like me, though I doubt she trusts me any more than I do her.”

“But if she finds out what you’re doing…

Scene 16

“…I’m going to kill that man.” Arie fumed.  An unbelievable surge of anger overcomes her.  She was actually attracted to Aranthar, and had considered turning him and taking him as a mate.

She’s staring a pool of water in a quite normal basin that shows the scene in Aranthar’s room.  Ripples cross the surface and fade away as Arie turns in irritation.  She sent Bree as a final test for Aran, one he failed badly.  Had he really hated the knights he would have taken the girl.  Instead he not only freed her from the binding, but gave her a cloak and then spent time discussing things with her.

Arie couldn’t tell exactly what had been said, because her scrying spell only gave visuals, not audio.  Still it was more than enough to convince her that Aran is still working with the knights.  He was good, even she had to concede that.  She’d completely believed his act.  How could she have been so blind?

Well it wasn’t too late to correct her mistake.  She took a small bell from the counter and gave it a ring.  The door opened and a small unctious man came in <need a name as this is her primary servant>.  She orders him to have Aranthar taken and deposited in one of the cells.  The charade is over and he can join the rest of his companions.

Her work is very delicate, and it cannot be spoiled.  Not when she is so close to completing her plan.  The night of judgement is close at hand.  All she needs is a little more time…

This scene is designed to be short, largely because it shows the opposition.  I don’t want them knowing too much about Arie at this stage.  What the scene should do is flesh out her mannerisms, her internal voice, and the vague idea that she has some sort of plan and Aran can be a danger to it.

*** I want to mod the earlier story.  Aran should not be aware of the Bond when he interogates the knight.  That’s going to be my big reveal in the finale.  So the whole mid section needs to develop the intrigue surrounding Arie’s plan, but not reveal what it is.    Bree should get to know the knights below, some of which have already been bonded.  I need a good way to show the transformation, so Bree needs to watch at least one friend go from normal to bonded to make the reader suspicious ***

*** Also need a scene with Aran speaking to someone about the history of Reverian.  Tell them the tale of how Reverian fell, the treachery the vampyr used.  They’ve been bold in recent centuries, but the vampyr were originally known as super cunning.  I just need to figure out who he can learn this from.  Arie?  Someone new?  Gavin? ***

*** Have the gloved hand be a motif.  Aran needs to notice that every time he sees Arie she’s wearing gloves.  Much like I had planned for Lucare in Mountain Shadow.  She needs to conceal the bonds, which gives him a clue.  When he speaks to the historian maybe he can learn of the bond as well. ***

Scene 17

Aran is staring at the portrait of Bree he sketched, the fine whorls and lines capturing a fair likeness of her.  It reveals a side of her he’d never expected.  Granted he only saw it because she was bound, but still it at least proves that side of her exists.

The door is kicked open and Aran is set upon by the Trainer and two of his ever present thugs (he should have thugs).  Aran gets his blade out and tries to give a good accounting, but quickly realizes all three are vampyr.  The wounds he inflicts are meaningless, and they are far stronger than he.  He is quickly subdued and dragged down to the cellar.

Along the way Trainer talks about how excited he is that Aran no longer has the lady’s favor.  Now he can take particular delight in inflicting the cruelest torments he can imagine.  He punctuates this by slamming Aran in the gut, driving the wind out of him.  Perhaps trainer can reveal something inadvertantly here?  Something about her plan coming to fruition soon?

Aran is dumped in the cell next to Bree, and Trainer even makes a comment and placing him near his slut.  Her cage is the closest to the master key ring hanging on the wall.  His is the closest to the stairs leading up, and the consumed mastiff they use as a guard. 

As soon as Aran staggers to his feet the consumed charges his cage, but is stopped a foot short by the leash and collar around its neck.  It barks frantically.  Take time to describe it and to give the reader a jolt of fear.  Might need to redo layout for prison cages.

Aran’s magnificent sword <still need name> is taken away from him.  After a bit of taunting the Trainer and his companions leave, and the captive knights are left in relative peace.  The few survivors gather at the edges of the cage.  One of them recognizes Aran and spreads the word, “It’s the great Aranthar.  We’re saved!”

Bree responds rather sourly, “If he’s so great why did he just get tossed in here with the rest of us?  How is he supposed to save us when he couldn’t even save himself?”  It’s obvious to Aran that she’s pissed, and bitterly disappointed.  She expected him to pull off a miracle, not get captured less than an hour later.

“She’s just bitter because I rejected her earlier,” Aran quips.  Briana’s face grows livid and the other knights stare at Aran like he’s insane.  “It’s ok though.  I’ll free you anyway.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” She asks dryly.

“Like this,” Aran closes his eyes and extends his hands.  He focuses and thinks of the name of his sword.  He concentrates, then calls it to him.  A moment later the reassuring weight fills his hand. “Watch and learn.”

Aran slices open his left palm and sticks it between the bars.  He allows the blood to drip into a small pool just outside of his cage.  At the scent of the blood the consumed awakens and comes charging in his direction.  It can’t quite reach the blood so it tugs on the chain over and over.  Eventually the chain pulls loose from the wall. 

The consumed skids to a halt, whuffs the blood, and begins drinking greedily.  As soon as it’s occupied Aran quietly slips the sword between the bars, raises it over the things head, and decapitates the consumed.  He stabs the head and tosses it at one of the torches lighting the room.  It flares into an inferno and the smell of burnt flesh fills the room.

“That’s great, you’ve killed the guard dog,” Bree rolls her eyes. “We’re still in our cages, so unless you have a plan to get the keys…”

Aran stabs his sword through the chain links holding the collar and drags the whole thing into his cage.  He loops it carefully into a coil then walks to the far side of his cage.

“If you’re done relaxing, perhaps you could get us those keys and see about getting us out of here?” Aran laughs.  He tosses the coil into Bree’s cage, who catches it. 

“I don’t believe it.  You did have a plan,” Bree’s disbelief is evident, but she wastes no time in using the chain like a lasso to get the keys.  It takes her a few attempts.  Once she has the keys she opens her cage, and they repeat the process for the rest of them.

“Now its time to take back our freedom…”

*** I haven’t given any description of what will kill a vampyr, where they come from, what a consumed is or any lore regarding vampyr.  I need to find a way to work that into the text ***

Scene 18

*** Earlier scene to interject.  When Aran is accosted by the knights at breakfast the one in charge is the finest swordsman in the knights.  He’s incredibly skilled, and even Bree seems to fear him.  She quietly councels him to back down, telling him that BadassKnight is on a different level than the two he fought in her father’s office.

Aran isn’t certain that he can take the man.  He’s rusty and worried that age might effect his reflexes, though he’s only in his early thirties.  Still he’s never backed down from a fight, and won’t do it now.  He responds to the mans barbs by baiting him both about ‘a real knight’ above, and about the man’s obvious desire for Bree

The man eventually draws and challenges him to a duel, which Aran eagerly accepts.  He finds that he is a bit rusty, and at first is very worried.  The man matches his speed and has a natural gift.  But he lacks Aran’s experiences, and his moves are far too predictable.  He doesn’t innovate enough.

Aran uses his sword to bat aside his opponent’s, plants a foot on the bench at the table he was sitting, vaults into the air and tags him in the face with his knee.  This catches BadassKnight off guard and sends him spinning for the floor. 

The man calls foul so Aran offers to go another round.  They continue to spar, and the more time goes by the more Aranthar sees the gap between their skill.  The man is frighteningly fast, but also startlingly easy for him to read.  This time he launches a high strike, and at the same instant knees him in the balls.

This sends his opponent to the ground a second time, and Aran puts his sword to the man’s neck.  By rights he can kill him, though such an act is frowned upon.  He lets BadassKnight up, and the man is livid.  He claims that Aran can only win through tricks no honorable knight would use.

Aran further baits him by asking what honorable knight would assault a man he’s never met over breakfast.  Then he agrees to a third round using only knightly conduct.  By now Aran can read the man’s moves, and while the fight isn’t over quickly it becomes clear for the start that Aran is in control.  He bests the man and tells him that the next time he wants to impress a girl he should pick someone he’s more confident about bullying. ***

The prisoners are loose from the prison, which should end the middle portion of the book.  After this scene it will seem like things have been resolved, but if I’ve done my job right I’ll have scattered clues about the Bond of Jhordil.  Arie gets away, and Aran still doesn’t understand his plan.  A visit to the vampyr informant after he breaks out and meets with the knight is in order, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  Oh and celebration and commendation from the knights, which Aran once again feels is undeserved because the threat is still out there and they don’t even fully understand what the threat is.  But again, getting ahead of myself.

The prisoners quickly arm themselves from the weapons locker where the arena weapons are stored.  They use the keys to head up stairs, and flood into the Pearl.  A few guards try to stop them, but are quickly overwhelmed.  Arie and her immediate coterie of supporters flee. 

At the time Aran will be very surprised by this and will discuss it with Bree. Vampyr would have decimated them, and Arie should have been able to bind at least a few of them to her will.  It doesn’t make sense that she’d give up without a fight.  Why flee when she had the advantage?

The knights shut down the Pearl, under Aranthar’s command.  He’ll reveal his twilight pendant to the knights to seize control, and quickly and efficiently overrun the Pearl.  They reach Arie’s room just in time to fade into the mirror in her room. 

Aranthar realizes immediately that it’s a teleportation device of some kind, and a powerful one at that.  The laws of Olivantia prevent either its study or use, and call for its destruction.  Briana reminds him of that as she sees Aran begin studying the frame to see if he can activate it and pursue Arie. 

He holds up his pendant and gives her a pointed look and she subsides.  He’s a KoT and he has the authority to break the laws of the land in the pursuit of justice.  One of the other knights reports that the rest of Arie’s employees have been taken. 

While they are talking the closet bursts open and trainer leaps out armed with a wicked pair of short swords.  Aran realizes that there is no way he’ll be able to draw his blade in time, and is certain of his own death.