It’s important to know what themes I’m trying to establish in the prologue, and to continue them in chapter one. These themes need to span the novel, but the transition between chapters 0-1 sets the tone for the reader. I need a sharp, memorable presentation of what the knighthood is like in the prologue. I also need to really introduce the reader to Aran in the prologue, then reintroduce the changes Aran in chapter one.
Themes
The Knighthood- The reader needs to gain an understanding of what the knighthood is during the prologue. I need to show them that it has great intentions, but is clearly unfit for the task of freeing or leading the people of Olivantia.
The Vampyr- The vampyr are a bit harsh, but have goverened well for four centuries. The people are well fed and cared for. They have no famine, little disease or sickness and adequate land to work. They are definitely second class citizens, and many vampyr viewed them as animals. But they were well cared for animals, even if they didn’t have Freedom. The theme for the vampyr in the novel needs to be ‘Great, we’ve got our freedom. Now we’re really screwed’. This needs to be in the discussion between Aran and Godicus.
Aranthar- In the prologue Aran should be a staunch believer in the Knighthood. He believes they can lead the people to freedom and a better life. But even in the prologue three years of war have scarred and changed him and he is aware of these changes. The horrors he’s seen change a man. Yet its still important that he verbally spar with the vampyr in prologue. The vampyr tells him the knigthhood will fail, but he refuses to believe it. This will make it more poignant in chapter one when the reader finds out that the knighthood did indeed fail.
Keep going back to Mal from Firefly for a template. In chapter one Aran needs a better background than just being some caravan guard who likes to drink. He needs to be a full on Han Solo like scoundrel who drinks, gambles, ogles women and is as far from a knight as a man can be. This will show the changes from the prologue more effectively than anything. I don’t even need to mention the changes, just show his behavior.
So the question remains how do I best present Aranthar in chapter one? The prologue needs a rewrite, but the core is sound. I have my ideas on how to show the vampyr threat, and I have the conversation with the vampyr undermining Aran’s faith. I still need to show the knighthood as misguided. I should also up the bigotry towards the chanter. Maybe he’s ridiculed and threatened by men under Aran, and Aran has to step in? This will foreshadow the attitude towards chanters later in the book. Also put someone in charge of Aranthar. Gavin is a good choice.
Anyway back to chapter one musings. What opening scene will have the most impact? I like the idea of having the consumed be involved. It will provide definite tension, a creepy feel and allows a later connection. When its revealed that the vampyr are spreading consumed the attack from chapter one will make sense.
The question is under what circumstances should the attack occur? I like the idea of Aranthar coming to an abandoned town, and I like creating a youngster who’s stolen something basic like a pair of boots. A patrol of knights can be there investigating the ghost town. What happened to the citizens? The vampyr had them carried off to become more consumed, knowing the disappearance of so many people would spread fear throughtout the countryside.
Why has Aranthar come to this village and who is he travelling with? Remember that the first chapter(s) need to show his world. The disturbance will come quickly, but I need time to prep the reader. They need to understand Aran’s world before I plunge them into chaos. For example the most recent chapter tells them nothing about the world or the people before getting right into combat. They need to understand more about the world before they can empathize with the characters.
Dark Horror- This angle would mean a departure from the existing material I’ve written, but it might be a better angle for the book. What if the world was more horror and less fantasy? What if after the diaspora of the consumed they’ve laid waste to the countryside? Ok I like where this is going.
So the consumed fell upon the endless farming villages across Olivantia. They used them as a food source and now very few villages remain. Only walled towns survive, and they must go into complete lockdown at night. They keep guards with torches to man the walls, and night attacks aren’t uncommon though big walls keep most of them out since consumed are feral and lack intelligence.
The people do not go out at night for any reason, and most towns or villages have a strict curfew. I need to show how frightened the people are at every stage of the novel. They live in constant fear of the next consumed attack.
The knights are their only protection, but that protection is inadequate. The plan was to wipe out the consumed after the war ended, but all attempts by the knighthood have ended in failure. No matter how many consumed they slay there always seem to be more. The reason, of course, is that the vampyr continue making more.
This whole setup gives a much more horror bent to the novel, and I need to focus more on blood and the visceral nature of the consumed.
Back to chapter 1- Ok so now I’m armed with knowledge. I know how Olivantia lives in fear, and I know what I need to show about Aran in chapter one. Now I need specific circumstances about where he is travelling from, who he is travelling with and why he is making the journey. He might not even be going to Reverian in the beginning. This requires more history about Aran.
Aran’s History- After the war Aran was a rallying cry for the knighthood. He’d kiled both Rakarian and Godicus, the latter of which ended the war. He was a hero and his name was on everyone’s lips. The early days were a hopeful time. The knights believed in Dalanthar and in their cause, and worked tirelessly to eradicate the seemingly endless consumed (think zombie film).
By the time he was 23 Aran his resolve was finally broken. He realized that the knighthood had failed entirely. The people they’d sworn to protect were mostly dead, and the survivors huddled behind walls living in fear. Farming communities are gradually being reclaimed by the wild, which he will comment on as he passes. His belief in Dalanthar was shaken, and his confidence in the knighthood was gone. Year’s of fighting futile battle after futile battle finally took their toll, and Aran quit the knighthood without consulting anyone.
This destroyed his budding relationship with Dahlia. The two were rarely stationed together, as she was a follower of Amarigen and part of the Pathfinders. He spoke to her about leaving the knighthood and she didn’t understand. She felt betrayed, because everyone looked up to Aran. Many people hated the knighthood and blamed them for their current circumstances, but everyone in the knighthood revered Aran.
His leaving also devestated Dahlia’s father Gavin, which was one more reason she broke things off with him. Aran was hurt, but he couldn’t force himself to believe in the righteousness of the cause any longer. Instead he gave himself over to drink, drugs, gambling and whoring. He decided never to fall in love, and never to take anything seriously. What was the point? All attempts to build a life would ultimately fail.
Aran gave up on everything he believed in. His skills included tracking (from Dahlia), hunting, fighting and killing consumed. He changed his name from Aranthar to Aran (in prologue have someone call him Aran and he gets mad), and quickly developed a reputation for cleaning out infestations other hunters couldn’t touch.
He’s spent the last decade or so hunting consumed for coin, then spending the money to drink or smoke himself into a stupor. He gambles for fun and takes reckless chances, and really doesn’t much care if he lives or dies. This has led to suicidal risks, but none of them have killed him so far. So at the beginning of the book he should have somewhat of a devil may care attitude, as if he’s looking to enter a situation he can’t get out of. By the end he will value his own life of course.
Ok, so that leads us back to chapter one again. Aran is a hunter of consumed, which means the first chapter should have him hunting consumed or at least being contracted to do so. Maybe he’s travelling on a caravan to reach a town to meet a client. He can even have a letter from someone, which can give clues.
“There are shadows in the night and people are disappearing. Please, come quickly”. or something like that. The letter is a good way to build tension as Aran travels towards this town. If I add in some memories of him passing through I can paint the place as lively and make it real. This will make the town being wiped out matter far more to the reader.
Still the question remains, who hired him? Why? How did the letter get there? How long has he been travelling? How is he getting there?
The last question is easily answered. I’ll stick him on a caravan, but I need to make it unique to Faelands. It can’t just be some wagons and horses, it has to be something designed to survive a consumed attack or it wouldn’t be able to travel from city to city.
So think about how a caravan like that would travel. What kind of animals would pull the massive armored wagons? How do they protect the animals from the consumed? Is there a way you can work in one of them having a blood tick? It’s a good way to show consumed can take odd shapes.
Even if the caravan was protected it would still be creepy as hell. The consumed need some sort of blood curtling scream or noise that is very well known. Aran can hear the cacophony and decribe the consumed while he hides inside the wagons. The reader will wonder how strong they are, and it will build tension.
The letter could have arrived by a passing courier, but I still need to know who sent it. The mayor of the town perhaps? Maybe the letter is generic and the town put out letters in every direction for any hunters to come. It would show how desperate they are, and underscore Aran’s risk taking nature since he has no idea how many consumed are there.
Ok great. I have a reason Aran is travelling at the beginning, I have his profession and his background. Now I need to define the caravan a bit better. I made a nemesis and a caravan master in the recent chapter one so use both as templates. The caravan needs to be at least a day from town so Aran can suffer through a night of consumed screaming.
This also brings up the question of horses. Where would they be? A separate wagon? Maybe that’s costing Aran a pretty penny, so he’s worried about his coin. He needs the job he’s headed for.
